Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
