A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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