i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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