drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
