Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
