There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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