You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
there was a trapeze. enough said
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
