i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
