I'm gonna have a badass scar
Screwed.edu
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
