turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
