She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
