Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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