i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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