When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
