..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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