I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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