i permit you to call me
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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