i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
