I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Girls should come with a carfax report
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
