Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
A+ Viking dick
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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