So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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