Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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