You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
