that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
