A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
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he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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