Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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