she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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