who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
