I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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