Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
