to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
