I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
