It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
