Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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