I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
