So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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