belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
