they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
