I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
