My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
