She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
