dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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