I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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