Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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