I wish my penis had an off switch
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
