The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
