me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
