You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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