My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
