so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
