Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
