We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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