You're so nebulous sometimes
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
