So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
