If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
